Last Friday Linda and I traveled to Dayton, OH to participate in a weekend away for pastoral couples sponsored by our Great Lakes Conference. This being the second such event in a row with another coming next week, I’m thinking January must be the month for retreats—probably due to lower rates. Whatever the reason, these experiences bring a double blessing giving us time away together and the opportunity to deepen relationships with other pastoral couples. Pastor Dave and Sally Green host the retreat and roll out the red carpet with gifts, books and snacks for all.

Left to Right: Pastor Terry Steinhauer, Heather Schneemann, Candice Shoemaker, Pastor Bill Shoemaker and Pastor Nate Buck

This year the featured speaker, Peter Keiper, focused our group time on how our sense of self affects every relationship, especially in our marriages. There were four teaching sessions, but even so it was difficult to cover the topic. He used the iceberg image to illustrate the fact that the behaviors we see in ourselves and others are only the visible part of the self which really is not the ship sinker. Remember the Titanic? What lies beneath the surface (the other ninety percent) is where the real danger lies for relationships and includes what we feel (emotions), think (attitude) and value (priorities).

Left to Right: Pastor Bill & Candice Shoemaker with Jim & Pastor Linda Davison

Pete stressed that real change in the self and in relationships can only occur when values or priorities shift. Too often we try to fix behaviors, overcome emotions or reprogram thinking without redefining our values. Such attempts are doomed to failure or at best may achieve some temporary success. My annual pledge to lose weight is a trivial example, but makes the point. Until I value my health more than the sugar I crave, no lasting change is likely to occur. Something similar might be said of my marriage. Until I value myself and my spouse in the way God values us, our relationship will be flawed with my selfish actions and attitudes. The source of abundant living is allowing the fount of Christ to spring up from within and flow through one’s heart, soul and mind. His love is the source of healthy relationships and lasting change.

Saturday during the afternoon free time Linda and I did some shopping and drove over to Centerville to tour the historic community. The town features a number of limestone houses erected in the early 1800s. I thought of Williamsburg and what this place could be with careful restoration. That evening we attended the La Comedia dinner theatre and saw a play called “Bubba’s Revenge.” Basically it was a set-up to sing a number of country-western and gospel songs. All the characters (and some were really characters) possessed good singing voices which made for a very entertaining show.

Enjoying the dinner theatre (l to r): Pastor Darrell & Alberta Prichard, Pastor Dave & Sally Green, Pastor Linda & Jim Davison

Sunday morning Kirk and Heather Schneemann led us in praise and worship followed by Pete’s final session. After the service we all said our good-byes and parted company. Before heading back to Findlay Linda and I decided to stop by Woodland Cemetery, one of America’s first landscaped memorial gardens (1841), to view their arboretum.

Heather & Kirk Schneemann lead worship

Entrance to the Woodland Cemetery

As it turns out there was a surprise awaiting. The mausoleum which is open to the public is filled with mosaic art and stained glass windows, including a very impressive depiction of “Christ the King” and a Tiffany (which is undergoing restoration).

The "Christ the King" window

We also drove around the necropolis and saw the grave sites of the Wright brothers and Erma Bombeck as well as many interesting monuments.

All told I thought the weekend a most excellent time. There was good food, good fellowship and good teaching. Throw in some great art and it’s a hard combo to beat. I know Linda and I came away with a better understanding of ourselves and of each other which is just what a couples’ retreat should accomplish. Thank you Great Lakes Conference!

Pastor Ed